They insist on putting down only old newspapers in my bedroom at night and while I am grateful for some reading material while I'm on the loo [who isn't?] it has put me at a serious social disadvantage. Last week in puppy class while everyone was discussing riots in Brazil and Tamara's wedding I bounced in berating David Beckham for wearing a turquoise sarong... Only to find out it was a photo from 1998. Mortified.
So... while browsing the old news the other day I spotted a picture of ginger racket swinger Andy Murray and his border terriers. The borders had his Olympic medals around their necks and the article said that the combined cost of the medals was around £850.
Jolly good I thought and went off to rummage through the household medal box. On biting down on several of the medals I discovered much to my disgust that they were made of cheap aluminium or (I still shudder at the taste) plastic.
Michael at the Munster Rd Pawn Shop has seen many things but I couldn't bear the shame of presenting him with those... Not even the new Barbour puppy coat is worth that.
So, tonight, I shall instead take fabulous pleasure in peeing on Andy Murray and his smug border terrier's faces.