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Martha Barnett

Writer

  • Theatre & Screen
  • Articles & Editorial
  • Blog: Yes I am Maggie
  • About
  • Contact
  • Scripts

Sausage Face?

[wpvideo 8eGFDhx6] Wee Mags

The Magatron

Whiney Pants

Yogurt breath

Sausage Face….

…

SAUSAGE FACE!?

This is what I have to put up with.

My name is Maggie and, yes, sometimes my breath smells of yogurt and yes sometimes I whine (For legitimate reasons only and I do have to insist that the whining comes from my throat and not, as described, from my pants…. Someone needs to buy the girl an anatomy book.)

But Sausage Face??!

This is abuse.

Also, she has started ‘doing’ my voice.

Today I think I was supposed to be Mexican but really it sounded Welsh. Yesterday it was like I was doing a terrible impression of an East End barrow boy: ‘awight darhlin’ wood yow like to buy some ‘addock… five paaahnds only a pony.’

Reidiculous. I don’t even like haddock. Or ponies.

For revenge from this gut churning humiliation I followed her round the house for half an hour repeatedly squeaking my pet snake.

She seemed amused and then quickly became irritated to the point of panic… which is pretty much how I feel when I have to listen to her do these goddawful impressions.

I think I have made my point.

tags: border terrier, dog blog, london, puppy, sausage dog
categories: Border Terrier, Dog Blog, Puppy Dog Tails
Friday 08.28.15
Posted by Martha Barnett
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